I spent so much of my life romanticizing the Great and Powerful Enormity of the Sea, reading about the salt and the sweat of the sailors straining to haul the sails or anchor while dreading the monsters in the cold, icy deep fathoms below…and now you tell me that a fathom is only 6 feet deep -

Six feet is still more than enough for a grave.

Hi, that is the most metal addition you could have possibly made to this post

For every fathom you descend into the ocean the pressure around you increases. By five fathoms down you’re experiencing two atmospheres of pressure. At about ten fathoms, a human can no longer survive on their own, and must have supplemental oxygen to continue their descent. With specialized diving gear, we can go to perhaps 60 fathoms under our own power. By that depth, even the clearest waters are dark. Perhaps one percent of visible light remains, mostly in the blue range. The water is blues and greys around you, shadowy like the last minutes before nightfall. The water below is darker still, impenetrable. But life still lurks beneath you, in the untold fathoms of the darkest sea, in an environment so hostile even our machines struggle to reach them.

you heard of "hating female characters for traits people would find interesting and morally grey in male characters", now get ready for "calling female characters annoying for traits they would consider interesting or quirky in a male character" and its twin sibling "accusing a female character of 'holding grudges' and 'being selfish/unforgiving' over something that people would consider 'traumatised' and 'still feeling hurt' in a male character"

“are you a boy or a girl?”

“well i’m actually multiclassing so i have levels in both”

to me demons are like cats just doing whatever they want causing problems on purpose, while angels are like hares theyre painfully aware of their place in this world theyve seen the end

in my minds eye

For those worried about the crew having to do a whole job just for one person, flight staff only get paid for time they're in the air; if he'd cancelled, they wouldn't have gotten paid for zip.

So in other words, he gave them an easy day where they can spend most of it on break, and also airplane staff should unionize.

Also the plane likely has to get to NC somehow so you might as well have fun with it

he took a bath 3 times

his name is Organic Spinach

the cleanest frog in Michigan

if i had some kind of deal as a kid where a frog was at the bottom of bags of spinach i would have easily eaten five times as much spinach

the concept of 'sperm whale' is so fucking funny. these prudish victorians found a gigantic, terrifying sea-beast, and, discovering it was full of a thick, oily substance, immediately went 'is this fucking Cum???' and started fueling everything with it. they thought their whole sexually repressed society was running on the monstrous cum harvested by deadly expeditions to the black, icy sea. what kind of immaculate neuroses they must have had.

all knowledge is built on deeper knowledge

The fucking legendary WAIT to fake bomb them to show them you knew the whole time. 

Legend.

i love that there was definitely an intelligence briefing where someone in charge heard that there was a fake airfield in progress and went, "...hey you know what would be funny?" and then everyone else agreed it was indeed SO funny that they would devote man-hours and a sizable log to making a fake bomb to drop on it while being only somewhat busy fighting a war, but never too busy for a funny craft project

Look morale is very important okay.

• An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television, getting drunk, and smoking cigars.

• A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.

• A bar was walked into by the passive voice.

• An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.

• Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”

• A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.

• Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.

• A question mark walks into a bar?

• A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.

• Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out -- we don't serve your type."

• A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.

• A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.

• Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.

• A synonym strolls into a tavern.

• At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar -- fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.

• A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.

• Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.

• A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.

• An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.

• The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.

• A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned by a man with a glass eye named Ralph.

• The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

• A dyslexic walks into a bra.

• A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.

• A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.

• A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.

• A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony

- Jill Thomas Doyle